Title: Casts: Year: Credits: Rating:

Heat Team Aaron Kwok, Eason Chan, Yumiko Cheng, Dave Wong, Danny Lee, Bernice Liu, Carl Ng, Hui Siu Hung 2004 Review by Kozo at LoveHKFilm.com Throwback to early nineties Hong Kong cop comedies that's as scattershot and unfocused as those films were. Unfortunately, the formula hasn't aged well, resulting in an uneven, throwaway movie. Heat Team is occasionally amusing and even fun, but don't expect it to make any sense.

Since director Dante Lam was responsible for some truly entertaining genre films, it wouldn't be a stretch to hope that Heat Team is a hit. The teaming of Aaron Kwok and Eason Chan is an intriguing, though questionably desirable one, and the cop comedy genre has had few homeruns since its nineties heyday. Unfortunately, Heat Team possesses neither standout action nor comedy, and mixes the elements in a completely unconvincing manner. It's okay that the film is uneven, as most action-comedies are, but since it can't summon the ability to A) have great action, B) have hilarious comedy, or C) be coherent, the result can only be middling stuff. Heat Team can be amusing and even occasionally fun, but it's no homerun. It's more like a blooper single that caught the shortstop napping. Y.T. Lee (Aaron Kwok) and K.C. Chan (Eason Chan) are a pair of Hong Kong's top Interpol agents, each with a reputation that precedes them. Y.T. is known to be a top shooter, though a bit clueless with women. Meanwhile, K.C. is a big-time player, and is supposedly a tough nut to crack. We first meet these "heroes" when they defuse a hostage situation where both the perpetrator and the hostage are victims of K.C.'s legendary libido. Y.T.'s solution? To hold K.C. (who, if you recall, is also a cop) hostage until somebody loses their cool and fires off a shot. Successful? Yeah. The work of ace law enforcement officials? Probably not. But such is the world of Heat Team, where cops do very little actual law enforcing, and basically spend their time following random leads, hitting on co-workers, compromising their jobs for their personal lives, and even using the station house as Thunderdome for the feuding Y.T. and K.C. There are bad guys too, but only because an action movie requires it. Yes, it's that kind of movie. For some unknown reason, Y.T and K.C. are sent to work for a special police task force, headed by Bobo (singer Yumiko Cheng), who's going to be getting married soon and needs a couple of decent replacements. According to their smarmy chief (Danny Lee), Y.T. and K.C. are the best cops around, and the two begin their tenure by breaking rules, bickering with one another in a strange and bewildering manner, and generally doing nothing that actually looks like policework. Luckily, some semblance of a plot appears. Renowned jewel thief Ken (Huang Bin-Yuan) figures on pulling one big job and escaping with his lady love Yu-Fung (Victoria Wu). But there's betrayal afoot, thanks to evil bad guy Dave Wong, and a number of circumstances which hardly register as important, much less interesting. Eventually, it's time for Y.T. and K.C. to put aside their differences, man up, and take down the bad guys with all the extreme skills Interpol dudes of their caliber are supposed to possess. But again, the above happens only because an action movie requires it. If you're looking for logical, well-developed filmmaking, then Heat Team should be way down your list. Director Dante Lam has recently been one of Hong Kong's more prolific directors, and his work has ranged from excellent (Beast Cops, Jiang Hu - the Triad Zone) to interesting (Runaway, When I Look Upon the Stars) to solid (Hit Team, Option Zero) to just plain unfathomable (Twins Effect, Naked Ambition). Regardless of quality, his films have usually been sturdy productions, and Heat Team follows suit. The cinematography and art direction are well above average, and Lam gives Heat Team solid pacing, adding entertaining style and flair to even prosaic moments, from the routine action sequences to stationhouse stand-offs between Y.T., K.C., and Bobo, the worst-named female cop in the history of cinema. Even though it makes no sense, Heat Team doesn't truly bore. Also, the comedy isn't the annoying "wah"-style popularized by Wong Jing and Stephen Chow, and relies more on situations and occasionally smart comic acting. Aaron Kwok is a likable straight man to Eason Chan's obnoxious cop, who's such a player because of his remarkable sensitivity to women. The two cops' differing rapport with women makes for some interesting moments when Yu-Fung is captured, and Victoria Wu's sexy performance adds some spark. Yumiko Cheng provides her own innocent-sexy screen presence, and Danny Lee has some fun with his supporting role. And the action sequences, though not great, aren't uninteresting. Despite some nay-saying (the film was critically slaughtered), Heat Team does provide some meager amusement for your film-going dollar. It's an uneven, illogical piece of filmmaking, but it manages to possess more spark than the competent, but ultimately colorless Moving Targets. For throwaway fluff, Heat Team fits the bill. But is that enough to make it work recommending? Uh...probably not. From a truly critical standpoint, Heat Team is a total waste of time, and should be left off of any Hong Kong Cinema recommendation list. Aside from the lapses in logic and the utter weightlessness of the production, the film possesses the most uninteresting bad guys of perhaps the last three years. Heat Team gives us three male baddies: the blankly charismatic and underused Huang Yuan-Bin, the smarmy and annoying Carl Ng, and the supposedly menacing, but totally undeveloped Dave Wong, who barely says a word and is supposed to be the main baddie of the film. There's also a fourth "bad" guy, Bobo's idiotic fiance, played with scenery-chewing gracelessness by the ubiquitous Jim Chim Sui-Man. In both Heat Team and Super Model, the audience is supposed to believe that a fresh-faced young woman (Yumiko Cheng and Karena Lam, respectively) would find the frankly unattractive and annoying Jim Chim to be some sort of an ideal marriage prospect. Well, I didn't buy it, and I'm willing to bet money that the vast majority of the filmgoing audience didn't either. Among Heat Team's most egregious lapses of logic, this one shoots right to the top of the list. Not that the physical attractiveness of Jim Chim is an accurate measure of quality, because it isn't. It's just another unexplained moment of weirdness in a production fillled with the unexplainable. Y.T. and K.C. start off as supposedly angatonistic cops, but thier rivalry is subdued to the point of non-existence. Likewise, the attraction between Bobo and K.C. comes virtually out of nowhere, and the big stand-off where Y.T., K.C., and Bobo go at it in the stationhouse with dummy bullets is completely innane. It's great to see Aaron Kwok and Eason Chan go at it in Hong Kong Cinema guns-blazing style, but when they start trashing their own workplace, you'd think somebody would have an issue. But hey, this is also a film where the two male leads nearly share a moment of intimacy. K.C. offers to give Y.T. a thorough oral examination using his tongue, and Y.T. accepts the challenge. The moment occurs as sort of a lothario lesson by K.C., and Eason Chan and Aaron Kwok manage to make the joke work, but let's face it: it's weird, and utterly pointless. But in a movie filled with oddball, unexplainable moments and genuinely aimless storytelling, you could almost call that the highlight. No doubt some people out there would tune in to check that out, and I'm ashamed to admit it, but even I was a little amused. Heat Team possesses the occasional guilty pleasure, which may not be much, but it's something. (Kozo 2004)

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My Dream Girl Eking Cheng, Vicki Zhao, Vincent Kok, Richard Ng, Mark Lui, Bernice Liu, Niki Chow, Cheung Tat Ming 2003 Review by Kozo at LoveHKFilm.com Not good at all. There is some minor amusement in this motion picture but the time and slumber-inducing inanity it takes to get there is probably more than even the most generous Ekin Cheng or Vicki Zhao fans could muster. A startlingly unfunny romantic comedy.

Okay, what happened to My Dream Girl? This Raymond Yip-directed update of the classic Pygmalion story looked to have something going for it. Ekin Cheng—who showed some comic charm in last year's My Wife is 18—probably could have done decently as an urban Hong Kong version of Henry Higgins. Vicki Zhao could have brought grace and spunk to a Shanghai version of Eliza Doolittle. And the audience could have been treated to a film equal parts popstar worship, comedy of manners, and sly cultural commentary. Heck, they could have lifted Bernard Shaw's original story in its entirety, excised its exploration of human interaction, and they still probably could have made a fun movie. But sadly, that just didn't happen. Ekin Cheng stars as Joe Lam, a Hong Kong lady-killer who prides himself on his amoral swindling and generally annoying ways. Unemployed for nine months, he's lived off his girlfriend (Bernice Liu), who in fact is seeing some guy named Tim (Mark Lui) on the side. Still, despite the fact that he's an overconfident, irresponsible lout, she can't break his heart, and refuses to break up with him—for now. Luckily, Joe finds a job that requires him to split town for a good three months, meaning she and Tim can play around as much as they like. Joe's headed to Shanghai to work for Mr. Cheung (Richard Ng) as an image consultant. Never mind that Joe has zero experience; he's obviously much more capable than the other choice, a chef played by Cheung Tat-Ming. Thanks to his stylish head of hair and generally decent way with fashion, Joe has his meal ticket. However, Joe's main assignment is a bit more difficult than just color-coordination. He's assigned to make Cheung's long-lost daughter Ning (Vicki Zhao) into a presentable family member for Cheung's upper-class society functions. But Joe puts on a power play, and states that Ning is beyond help, because she has no manners, unkempt hair and apparently no bathing habits. The goal of such an act: a tripling of his salary. You'd think that a guy with no actual credentials and zero experience wouldn't be able to get his way, but Joe gets the increased salary, as well as cart blanche with a credit card. It helps that Joe runs into Ning before his interview, and she's immediately smitten by him, thereby putting her in his corner for continued employment. It also helps that Cheung's number two is a Hong Kong expatriate (Vincent Kok) who desires to make Hong Kong people look good—even when they're into vile chicanery like Joe. And, it helps that Joe is played by Ekin Cheng. With his dashing good looks and boyishly suave charm, wouldn't anyone—man or woman—fall for his wacky schemes? My Dream Girl would have us believe that yes, they would. However, as supposedly intelligent, rational audience members we would hopefully see differently. Not only is Joe's scheming totally transparent and obvious, but he possesses zero image design skills. The filmmakers attempt to create "comedy" by having Joe dress up Ning in a disturbingly awful series of terrible hairstyles and costumes, all under the notion that he's doing his job to make her a more presentable person. He also gives her minor lessons in manners that seem surprisingly genuine, but Ning's gradual metamorphosis from downtrodden flower to elegant blossom can't muster the minimum credibility requirement of a Hong Kong journalist. To wit: the film's situation, and all its accompanying baggage (character, story, dialogue) are not convincing in any way, whatsoever. It just doesn't compute. Let's take a look at how the film is startlingly unbelievable. 1) Joe is a lousy image designer, and makes Ning look bad in every way possible, but he isn't fired in the millisecond that such poor job performance would merit. 2) Ning is totally enamored of Joe at first sight, even though he's clearly a swindler and his only saving grace is that he looks like Ekin Cheng. 3) All the side characters go out of their way to enable Joe's screwy ways, thus leaving his eventual comeuppance to be the product of an amazing epiphany on how he's really not such a great guy. 4) Joe's epiphany has zero development, and seems to appear out of nowhere simply because the script asks that it does. 5) The eventual success (and we're not spoiling the movie by telling you this) of Ning's transformation is not the result of newly-applied effort by either Joe or Ning, but by the brilliant use of somebody who actually knows how to make somebody look good. And by that, we mean a real image consultant, or maybe just a hairdresser who reads the right magazines and realizes a simple hairstyle will bring out Vicki Zhao's natural beauty. They sure wouldn't give her a terrible Tammy Faye Bakker 'do, which Joe Lam actually does. And there's the biggest problem of all. 6) How could somebody who looks (and even occasionally dresses) like a male model make such egregious errors in fashion sense? Was he trying to get fired? Who the hell knows? At this point, it should be plainly obvious: five monkeys and Wong Jing could have teamed to write a better script than this 12-page synopsis of doom, which is strangely credited to one of Hong Kong's "great" screenwriters, Chan Hing-Kai. Chan has been known recently for stretching the bounds of existentialism (see Born Wild or Mighty Baby to see what we're talking about), but his work here (co-credited with Lee Po-Cheung) is just plain terrible. What reason is there to care about anyone here? Does anyone create a credible character? Do we care if Vincent Kok gets it on with frumpy secretary Liang Jing? And does Joe Lam's eventual desire to be a good guy merit any sympathy whatsoever? The changes and gooey epiphanies experienced by nearly the entire cast don't seem to add up. It's like the script for this film was written in one weekend with a set of "key point" flash cards as a guide. Everything between the flash cards became filler, and all that filler turned out boring or strangely unfunny. Either way you slice it, this is one bad movie. With all the above in mind, it's hard to even see any positives. There are minor nuggets of wisdom extolling the virtues of Hong Kong people at trying their hardest and doing their best, but they're oddly out of place or even cloying. Ostensibly, Joe's turnaround is an example of this, and should be commended as a result. Ekin Cheng does a decent job playing a likable shark, and he even seems to project some appropriate self-loathing into his character. But it's all for nothing. Vicki Zhao is pretty much a static figure here, and doesn't do much more than act silly and look pretty or ugly depending on which physical state the script calls for. The supporting characters are uninteresting or annoying, and Raymond Yip directs the film with all the manipulative touches that he can muster. If he succeeded and actually converted a mass audience, then he should have been given the title of "Greatest Director Ever." At this point, "Outmatched Stooge" would probably be the best title, as this script would have doomed Johnnie To or Wong Kar-Wai—even if they had worked together. My Dream Girl may be palatable to the most forgiving Ekin Cheng or Vicki Zhao fans, but for everyone else it's pretty much a nightmare. (Kozo 2003)

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My Wife is 18 Eking Cheng, Charlene Choi, Richard Ng, Sandy Lamb, Ronald Cheng, Bernice Liu, Stephanie Che, Patrick Tang 2002 Review by Kozo at LoveHKFilm.com James Yuen's fluffy comedy is somewhat sloppy and unbelievable, but the chemistry between leads Ekin Cheng and Charlene Choi redeems things. A reasonably charming if not overly compelling romantic comedy.

Ekin Cheng admits his cradle-robbing tendencies in My Wife is 18, from prolific writer-director James Yuen. Cheng is Thirteen Cheung, a thirty year-old grad student living in the UK. He's been unable to graduate for many years, as his pet thesis project - about women - has always earned him derision and a swift "fail" from the all-women panel of judges. Cheung doesn't want to change his thesis because he's spent too many years trying to perfect it. Finally, he has to admit the truth: he just doesn't understand women very well. Luckily, Cheung is about to get a crash course in the fairer sex. His senile grandmother desires to see him married before she passes on, so Cheung agrees to a quickie arranged marriage. The other party is Yoyo Ma (Charlene Choi), an eighteen year-old HK student who's agreeing to the marriage to satisfy her parents. Cheung and Yoyo have no illusions about any lasting bliss; they expect to be divorced within a year. However, situation comedy occurs - big time. Cheung decides to visit HK to get out of the UK for awhile, and stays with Yoyo at her request. The arrangement is supposed to be one of convenience, but things escalate rather quickly. Yoyo offers to become the subject of his thesis, and even plans to introduce him to her schoolmates at her all-girl school. Cheung does her one better and actually becomes a teacher at the aforementioned school, which leads to the expected shtick as the two pretend to not know one another. This proves more difficult than imagined, as the two are married, but not really a couple. However, when Cheung gets involved with virginal PE teacher Miss Lee (Bernice Liu), Yoyo's hand is forced. Sort of. The circumstances which bring Yoyo and Cheung together are as manufactured and illogical as you'd expect from a film starring two of EEG's lineup of popstars. The characters hardly feel realistic; Cheung is an immature thirty year-old who openly admits to not understanding women, yet makes them the subject of his thesis, anyway. Still, Cheung is a likable enough guy, only because Ekin Cheng plays him with zero pretensions. This may be the first film in ten trillion years where Ekin Cheng is not a ladykiller or a supercool triad/racer/kung-fu guy. Cheung is a likable, near-virginal dope, and a welcome change of pace for a Man Called Ekin. The character of Yoyo fares slightly better, as she's one of those deceptively flighty types who masks genuine feelings of inadequacy and fear. As played by Charlene Choi, she's a winning, if somewhat cloying romantic lead. Choi's girlish acting is more than a little overdone, but her enthusiasm and raw emotion are beguiling. She makes a winning, believable girl, though perhaps that's because Choi (at age twenty) is really still just a girl. She and Cheng share a fun chemistry, and their explicitly-discussed age difference makes for good romantic comedy fodder. If only the film truly gave them stuff to do. While the characters and actors can be enjoyable, the plot cooked up by James Yuen, and Andy Lo is a loosely connected series of mildly entertaining jokes and forgotten subplots - some of which are all-too-familiar and not interesting. The supposed main plotline of Cheung using Yoyo as his thesis subject is underdeveloped and just plain silly, and the ultimate resolution is neither surprising or particularly compelling. The film ends how you expect it would, and without much fanfare or emotionally-involving revelations. This is one lightweight movie. Still, My Wife is 18 is amiable enough stuff and has pretty people in spades. Those who like Ekin Cheng (and even those who usually don't) could get a kick out of his dopey character. He's still not much of an actor, but he can be a likable presence. And despite her overexposed Twins pedigree, Charlene Choi could be around HK Cinema for quite a while. My Wife is 18 isn't a great movie, but considering Hong Kong Cinema's recent lack of quality output, this amusing trifle is not without its charms. As pop cinema goes, you could certainly do worse. (Kozo 2002)